Helping Hand…

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In general, there’re two ways of “helping” people: The Helping Hand and Free Advice. Both ways can work with some people, but not all.

Free Advice can work, but doesn’t work well with some people. I don’t know why. It just doesn’t work for me. Advice is advice. I’m not that stupid. Such thoughts have probably come across my mind. But the DOING is for me, DIFFICULT. It is the way my brain chemistry works. Perhaps there are missing synapses. Something is not working efficiently in my brain. It’s not there. If it WAS, there would have been the possibility of my life being much different. But it wasn’t.

I went into the Air Force by being dragged to the recruiters office. I got my VA Benefits by being taken by Buddy Edmondson to the VA. Shit, I got MARRIED by my to-be Mother in Law DEMANDING “When are you going to ask my daughter to MARRY you?”

That method is what I call “A Helping Hand.” I can easily be led. But I can’t lead myself very well. The first time I went into the hospital with my heart problem was by “helping hand.”

I woke up one morning not being able to breathe. I called my one friend at the time, Shelly McGuire. She basically jumped out of bed, came to my apartment, and dragged me to the hospital, where I was immediately hospitalized with a heart condition.

Probably saved my life. Worked better than someone advising ME to call an ambulance. Had that been the case, “advice,” I would probably have been discovered dead a long time ago.

So, free advice, “This is what you need to do, or MUST do” is pretty much wasted on me. All it amounts to me is the opportunity for the advisor to say later “I TOLD him what he needed to do.”

I know that I shouldn’t have that mind. Like I said, I’m not THAT stupid. But I am not perfectly right in my head either. It IS who I am. If I HAD the self sufficient determination to do things on my own, I could probably be a retired Commercial Artist or Famed Cartoonist with a nice house and grandkids (in the best of all possible worlds). But that wasn’t the future with my capabilities.

You don’t think that doesn’t anger me? I am an angry person, and most of my anger comes from frustration. I could have been better than I am, but I am not. All people are created equally? Not Brain-wise.

And that is life. Either LIVE it or LIVE WITH it.