My Roller Skating Experience!

Back in the last millennium, when I was married, Judy decided that we needed to do more of the young married activities. One of these activities was roller skating.

There was a skating rink in Granbury, and they rented skates. I was concerned that, being unsteady on wheeled feet, that I might fall down and hurt myself. As a person that is way too familiar with the act of falling down, I was justifiably concerned.

“Not to worry,” Judy proclaimed, “Just hold onto me, like young married couples do when they are out skating!” I figured that if she was willing to be pulled down with me if (when) I went down, I could at least try to stand on free wheeling wheels.

We dressed for the occasion, not in fancy dress-up cowboy fashion like I’d hoped, but rather 70’s Texas yuppie fashion. What that meant for me was some light-colored patterned bell bottomed pants, a flowery paisley shirt with HUGE collar, and my very fancy white belt, that matched my platform white shoes. We even fluffed up my hair over my combed-over forehead so that it would look fuller, and attempt to hide the fact that I was already in receding hairline mode. Has that EVER fooled anyone in the long history of men with receding hairline?

We got to the skating rink, obviously the place for young folks to be in Granbury Texas on a Saturday evening. So there were going to be plenty people to laugh and smirk at the new damnyankee husband of the former GHS star of the Girls Basketball team. Good. I was worried that no one would see me my very first time on the roller rink.

We quickly found a rented, freshly sprayed pair of skates for me, to go with Judy’s privately owned roller skates. While I struggled at putting them on and lacing them up, she continued telling me about what great fun we were going to have, and how we would have so much fun, that roller skating would soon be our very own Saturday night tradition, and on and on. I feared for my tender bottom.

Well, surprise, surprise! I was, of course, a little unsteady and wobbly, but I did NOT immediately fall down! Thank you, Judy for being my support!

We finally got out onto the rink, to the “elevator music” tune of some halfway remembered golden oldie, and the festivities were unsteadily underway! I quickly discovered that skating was quite a bit like skateboarding. For me, anyway.

What that meant was, just like my “expertise” on skateboarding those few years ago (my last time on my old skateboard just a few months in the past, back when I had FALLEN DOWN and broken my elbow), I quickly discovered if I guided my direction with one foot, and pushed off with the other, that I could actually move in a horizontal direction! And, of course, after the push-off, I could glide! As long as there were no steep hills in the roller rink, I should be OK!

So, there I was, out on the floor with everybody else, left foot guide, right foot push, glide! I was feeling pretty proud of myself, I’ll have you know! As I have always been, I found it easy to ignore all the other people, adults, teenagers and kids, all EXPERT skaters (at least compared to me), smirking, pointing and generally enjoying the awkwardness of my skating “style.” I was having fun, and I had yet to fall down!

I’m not so sure that Judy found it as easy to ignore the smirking, pointing and masked hilarity of the other skaters. After all, this WAS her home town, and I suppose most of the people knew her or at least who she was. So, I guess, all things considered, it wasn’t all that much fun for the two of us.

I don’t remember us going skating again, which is probably for the good. I am a fellow that has never been able to ignore the law of gravity. I didn’t fall down that time on the skating rink, but I can safely insist, it would have been only a matter of time!